What is NLP?


What on earth is NLP?

Neuro linguistic programming! What a scary title! Until you discover what it really means. Basically, NLP is the study of people; how we use language, how that affects the way things that get stored in our brain, and how the brain controls the behaviour we demonstrate to other people.

The Beginning …

Although NLP started in the field of academic research, it has now become a very practical school of thought. It can be used on personal level to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, to build up motivation, to eliminate fears and phobias. It has also has discovered simple ways to overcome stress and eliminate the negative effects of bad memories. The originators, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, summed it up very well by saying that it would help people to have better, fuller, and richer lives.
It soon became an effective and rapid form of psychotherapy, where it dealt with a range of problems such and such phobias, depression, psychosomatic illnesses etc. It is also used in the treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was quickly realized that there were potential applications to life in general. Particularly in business where people skills were becoming more important. It enabled employees and managers to become more confident when dealing both with clients and each other. People also improved the effectiveness of their communication due to a better understanding of the effects of particular language constructs.

How to Learn NLP

There are many ways of learning about NLP. The Internet is full of books CDs, DVDs and courses from all over the world and this presents The beginner with a problem. How do you decide which is the best action for you to take? Well the easiest is probably to find some basic introductory level material on the Internet. This can range from introductory videos, articles, pod casts etc. You can gain a lot of knowledge from these sources but there will come time when you need a mentor. There are two basic reasons for this. One is that you only have your experience to base your findings on and, two, you don’t get any feedback from a book. Think of it like this, you could read about the Sahara Desert, you could see films about the Sahara Desert, you could get maps of the Sahara Desert. But when you wanted to actually explore the Sahara Desert you would probably feel more comfortable if you had an experienced guide. The guide can point out the best way through uncertain territory, can suggest new ways of approaching things, and can give you real world examples of how NLP theory can be applied.

It’s Easy

Some people may think that all this is going to be so hard to learn. Well let me surprise you – it isn’t! Because of the way NLP is usually taught it covers everyone’s individual learning style by incorporating theory, practice and review techniques in most lessons. Another interesting thing that I was impressed with was that you can use NLP techniques to help you learn NLP. All good training courses will encourage you to sort out hang ups and problems that you may have, within the classroom exercises so that you’re ability to learn new things becomes easier. And the learnings will stay with you for ever. The aim of good NLP training is to reach a stage of what is called unconscious competence, so that you will have learnt things so thoroughly, (by actually doing it in a controlled environment) that you will almost be able to do it without thinking.

What Next?

And what next, you may be wondering? Well you just keep watching this blog because I will be building up a wealth of material that will take you from the basic ideas to more advanced methods and then you can decide which direction to go in next.
I can only wish you bon voyage and even though you may be a plumber, an engineer, an estate agent, an accountant, a doctor, a nurse… It doesn’t matter. What ever you do for a living, you will be able find ways to help you get on with life and people better than you ever did before you started studying NLP. May I you wish a great life!!
Written by nlpman
retired NLP Master Trainer,Life member of International NLPTrainers Assoc, owns site nlpman.eu

How to Give Feedback to Manage Performance


Author: Kate Tammemagi

Receiving feedback on your effort, your attitude or your performance is the way that you learn, improve or are motivated to maintain a good performance. Giving feedback effectively and frequently is a key requirement of the role of Manager or Supervisor. Giving and receiving feedback should be a normal part of the Leader and Team Member relationship, a process that both parties understand and accept. It is best practice for the Supervisor to begin giving feedback as part of the initial training period, and to continue this in regular performance coaching sessions throughout the employee’s career.

Positive Feedback
Positive feedback can be given any time, either in public or private. Positive feedback is where we praise a desired attitude, behaviour or performance. The effect of positive feedback is that the person is encouraged to repeat this behaviour and is also motivated to improve. It also builds self confidence and self esteem in the Team Member.

The reverse is also true! Lack of positive feedback is discouraging, demotivating and will lead to a poor performance level. The employee gets the impression that no-one cares whether they do well or not, and that their work has no value!

Giving Constructive  Feedback

The other type of feedback is Constructive Feedback, or Corrective Feedback. Again, this is essential to performance and motivation. Do not think in terms of NEGATIVE feedback as this is not a useful thought. The aim is not to point out the negative or the bad. If you do this, you will find that the person does not improve. You will find yourself saying the same things over and over again.

Giving constructive feedback is about TRAINING the other person to change or improve. If you do this well, you training is successful and will see the desired result. Giving constructive feedback is about identifying an area for improvement and working out solutions to improve or correct this. In giving the feedback, first identify the current goal or task and why this is important to the Company and to the role. Secondly, state clearly the undesirable attitude, behaviour or performance, with factual evidence. Thirdly, state the desired attitude, behaviour or performance, or better still, ask encouraging questions to help the other person make constructive suggestions. Lastly, work with them to put a strategy in place for achieving the desired goal.

Guidelines for giving Feedback Effectively

1. Understand that the feedback is primarily a training need. Be aware that you are the supervisor, and are ultimately responsible for this staff’s behaviour. This feedback is aimed at improving knowledge and behaviour.

2. The key is to talk about the behaviour, performance or attitude rather than the person.

3. Have a good working knowledge of your own learning style and the other types of learning styles. This will help you avoid the pitfall of explaining in a way only YOU would understand. Other people are not always like you!

4. Know your Team Member, their personality style and their unique learning style – Are they a visual, verbal, reading & writing, tactile? Do they have language and cultural complexities?

5. Know your own limitations – If you are giving feedback on a volatile situation, make sure you can recognize your own emotions, and are aware that you may need to calm down before feedback.

6. Give constructive feedback in private – Never give constructive feedback in a group. You would not want to receive it in front of your staff!

7. Always start with positive – When giving feedback you always start with at least two positive observations. This will start the meeting off on a positive note

8. Look at the individual – make eye contact, don’t avoid. If you do, they may question the validity of your session.

9. No apologies, do not apologize for their actions that need correction. Don’t say, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but…”

10. Give constructive feedback in an honest and diplomatic way – that is, while pinpointing the target behaviour, state the constructive measures to change the behaviour. Remember, constructive feedback is a means to improving situations by finding a solution to the problem. Give a due date for follow up. The point is to teach a new skill where there was a deficiency.

11. End with a positive – If it was a particularly lengthy/ gruesome session, interact with the staff to make sure things are ok. Be sure that you have checked in with them before you leave for the day. You want to make sure they are not going home disappointed.

12. Ask if they have any questions – if you have given a feedback session, you may not have realised that you were the only one talking for quite some time. Always give the staff the opportunity to seek further knowledge or assistance.
Kate Tammemagi specialises in Management Training in Ireland. She designs and delivers People Management Training and Customer Care Training.
Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/how-to-give-feedback-to-manage-performance-1335512.html

About the Author: Kate Tammemagi is Trainer and Consultant in Ireland. She specialises in delivering customised Customer Service Training Courses and Leadership Development Training Courses  in businesses,  call centres and professional environments.



How to Add Polish to Your Interpersonal Communication


E-mail, IM, Skype, phone, snail mail — there are more vehicles for communication than ever before.   But when it comes to truly effective communication, there is nothing as good as face-to-face meetings.  That’s because more than 90 percent of the communication we do is nonverbal.  How can you possibly accomplish your communications objectives if the person you are communicating with receives only 10 percent of your message?

Add Strength to Your Words.  When I was growing up I was repeatedly told, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”  That’s what nonverbal communication speaks to. When you meet with someone, you have the opportunity to send your entire message and they have the ability to truly embrace it.  You can share the tone and volume with your voice and place emphasis on certain words.  Your facial expressions, gestures, and body language convey additional meaning that is totally lost with computer-based communications.  There is little room for misunderstanding.

Power Up Your Nonverbal Communication.  When you get together with someone, they have the chance to experience the real you.  If you want to make a good impression you’ll dress properly, and make sure your hair and nails are clean.  You’ll lead with a firm handshake that demonstrates self-confidence and follow up with good eye contact and a winning smile.

Tune In to feedback. Meeting with someone is more personal than using high tech lines of communication.  It gives you the opportunity to build a bond and establish trust.  When you’re talking, you get immediate feedback from the person you are with.  If the response is not what you expected or hoped for, you are in a position to modify it on the spot.

Ramp Up Your Listening Skills. A face-to-face meeting give you the opportunity to listen.  And listening is the most important communication skill we have.  After all, you don’t learn anything when you are talking.  You already know all about what you have to say.  It is when we listen to others that we have the chance to learn about them and what they are sharing.

Being an effective listener means asking open-ended questions and listening carefully to the answers.  Avoid the tendency to interrupt or advise.  Cultivate the ability to make the person you are listening to feel like they are the center of your world while they are speaking.  Let them see how interested you are in what they have to say — even if you really aren’t.  Actively listen.  That means listening intently and processing the information so you are in a position to respond in a thoughtful manner.  Be sure to read between the lines.  And be cognizant of their nonverbal behaviors.

Show That You Care.  Face-to-face communication is an opportunity to establish a common bond.  Make an effort to find an interest that you share. Be sincere.  Be interested.  Be giving. Supplementing your newly polished communication skills with the knowledge you care can work miracles with your interpersonal communication.

Author: Carol Dunitz, Ph.D.

Carol Dunitz, Ph.D. is president of The Last Word LLC, a communication and creative services company.  She is a professional speaker and author of ‘Louder Than Thunder,’ a parable about listening and interpersonal communication.  Dunitz is the playwright, lyricist and composer of ‘Bernhardt on Broadway,’ a musical about Sarah Bernhardt.  She can be reached at 312.523.4774, cdunitz@lastword.com or www.DrCarolDunitz.com.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_1175095_50.html

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